L.A. CITY HALL: Political satire (The Regardie Report), "Lots of Suggestions For Eric Garcetti"....
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 at 11:49AM * Downtown News (The Regardie Report): "Lots of Suggestions For Eric Garcetti" - "Telling the Next Mayor How To Run L.A. Is the New Black" - From the DTN:
With Eric Garcetti’s inauguration rapidly approaching, there is no shortage of unsolicited advice for what Los Angeles needs. Which is wonderful, because if there’s one thing an incoming mayor wants after an election in which only about one out of four eligible people voted, it’s the other three telling him what to do. Some act as if Garcetti hasn’t pondered what happens after his July 1 swearing in, and have pointed suggestions regarding transportation. Others purport to know just what he should do about the environment. A few folks believe they have the best advice ever on architecture and density. The list goes on, even if almost everyone is pushing a personal agenda.
Since telling the next mayor what to do is the new black, I decided to offer my own concepts. With inspiration from his election-abetting Super PAC, the beautifully named Lots of People Who Support Eric Garcetti (really), here are lots of ideas to make Los Angeles the safest, most environmentally friendly, most super-awesome city ever.
Get a Monkey Butler:
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Watch Out for Wesson:
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Hire Mayor Tommy Carcetti:
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Activate the Cleantech Zone:
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Make Trutanich Battering Rams:
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Keep Miguel Santana:
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Pirate Ship Water Slide:
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Forget Football:
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Don’t Dump Your Wife for a Succession of Brunette News Readers, Don’t Party With Charlie Sheen and Don’t Spend Your Days Ignoring the City While Trying to Be Governor or, Once That Proves Impossible, a Member of the President’s Cabinet: This one should be obvious. To everyone.
